Friday, January 30, 2009


I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be 25 things that you might not know, or you’re supposed to know, or what. Here they are. (Everybody else did it too - it's on facebook or blogs).
I’ll try to do things that you really don’t know, and skip the parts about cutting my own hair when I’m down or tendencies for the tiniest electronics.

1. I’m in debt. More than I know probably, like those Canadian girls on that Style Network show, “Maxed Out”, with the bad theme song.

2. Getting the wires taken out of my mouth was one of the worst things I can remember, and I can’t believe they don’t even give you novacaine for it, let alone put you straight out.

3. I don’t understand why Nick Filardi won’t take me out on a date.

4. Once I was in the backseat/middle of a car, between two others. I might have been Dane’s car, but maybe not. I had to throw up, but there was no time! I threw up down my coat sleeves. Sorry.

5. I try to adhere to this One In One Out life, to have less (or at least the same amount of) possessions, but I cheat. All the time.

6. I get sad-ish about cheating. In life, in cards.

7. I used to have a brother.

8. It frustrates me so much that my mom doesn’t have the attention span for one movie, she’s up and doing things the whole time. I see it in myself.

9. I’ve only ever won two games of Blokus, but I really like playing it.

10. My grandfather had Alzheimer’s. I’m so scared of getting old.

11. My standards for Movies to See has dropped about 70% over the last two years.

12. I barely ever wash clothes, with the exception of underwear and tights. When that’s all you wash, you get a big tights-octopus out of the dryer.

13. Conrad and I walked to the ER when I broke my face. Ambulances are for sissies.

14. I repeat stories like crazy/have a terrible memory.

15. I still hate that boy Joel that Sarah dated, when I think about him.

16. I’m starting to have a defeatist attitude about life and health. Currently trying to defeat it.

17. So far I’ve skipped 3 grandparent’s funerals.

18. I like sleeping in the cold.

19. No camping.

20. I don’t usually miss people.

21. My mom is super Penecostal sometimes, like “slain in the spirit” and Benny Hinn cruises and everything, and it both concerns me and drives me crazy.

22. I took tennis in college. Was terrible. You had to take a gym class though.

23. I made a documentary about people in Houghton, NY. It’s alright.

24. Ask me on a trip, I’ll probably go, especially if we get to stay at a hotel. I’ll scrimp and save and everything.

25. Never thought I’d like tv like I do. I guess I tricked myself.

Tag, you're it.

Things I Look Forward To

Nights with nothing ahead of me.
Sending things in the mail.
Also, receiving.
Going to people's houses that have big dogs. Also dance class. There's a mastiff and about a hundred cats.
Cashing in change.
Scratching off scratch-offs.

Lately: looking forward to being done with surgery. I think there'll be a nice minute where I'm just hanging out at home watching Lost and playing Smarty Pants, but mostly I'm ready to be back in the game.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


Dear F&F,

I have the Date: March 3.
Oh, they'll call me the day before and let me know when to come in. NBD.

Good friends (Reeves and Lulu) are throwing me a party beforehand, maybe to help cut the cost of spending (up to) a week in the hospital and pay my rent for the 4-6 weeks I'll be out of work. It's Feb 7, party o'clock, and you're invited (it's at 607).

Hoping you'll all still like me if I get droopy face,

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Beta's girl

My 9 lb. baby has one in her.
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Congratulations, Elizabeth.


1. First things first: yesterday at work I got caught up in eBaying and bought a Wii, and Wii Fit. Looking for players. Also need to pick up some extra Wiimotes so we can play against each other. Already shipped, arriving soon. I'm sure you're glad that you can stop hearing about it.
2. GJC. Stands for "Good Job C", because he won a Magic tournament, and gets to play in Hononlulu soon. I think everybody remembers my time spent in Honolulu, I hope you have a better time, Conrad. Don't fly "Go!"* airlines.
3. Doctor today. Same old same old, but now with some numbers, like a 30% chance I'll lose control of my lefty face for a undetermined amount of time, and 4-6 weeks for recover (see #1). Also, thanks C for coming.
4. Tonight is Rustica party, a long standing tradition that I both look forward to, and had forgotten about, until yesterday.

*I think they've since folded anyway. I hope so.

Monday, January 26, 2009


Got home.
Won the lottery (actually just won a free ticket, but I have a good feeling about that one).
Found out I overpaid a medical bill, so they sent me back $100.
Went to the pharmacy and bought a set of funnel spoons instead of my keys.
Saw Notorious.
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Good: the soundtrack, and managers fall for scams more easily than their employees. Or care less. Bad: some of the movie, morals and everything, you know.
Tonight? Dance class again. Whispers (texts) of a Rustica party?

Don't you all wish I still had a digital camera so there were more pictures?


You probably missed my blog a lot this weekend. Sorry, Suckers, I jumped ship* for a couple days and went to Florida!
I went to Sand Key Beach. I got my mom to buy me a bathrobe ("Cause, I'll be so cold in the hospital!"), and found so many winter shorts**! I hung out with my Grandma, who's got it so so together that we can talk cards strategy, but is so weak that she's heading for the nursing home real soon. I jacuzzi'd a lot, like the cast of the Real World Brooklyn (with less implants), and got a little tan. Most of the tan shed off on the airplane home, my face looked really gross that day.

Other things
- indoor smoking sections in Atlanta (like 1998 in NYS or something!)
- boys with "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" ringtones
- Delta has Veronica Mars and so many other shows on their tvs! So long, Continental and every episode of every kind of CSI. I don't even miss you***.

**weird that it's hard to find shorts here in January.
***I do miss Continental.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


This morning I had my ENG tests. I did not read up on them and was expecting the hospital/you-have-a-tumor version of a sobriety test. Wrong.
3 tests. First, electrodes (right?) stuck on me and inside my ears and noises and tappings. Next, steampunk googles that have tiny video camera that track my eye movement, and following a light around in a dark room. Finally, getting my ears filled with alternating (very) cold and (very) hot water and testing my dizziness.
I hope I passed.
Back to the (other) doctor this afternoon...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I just quick reviewed my blog to see if I should keeping writing.

Some things I realized:
I'm no titiary genius.
I never made that rug from scratch.
I never purged my books.
I DID however, go see a GP, which led to seeing an Otolaryngologist, then an MRI, then a brain tumor, so that was good (really).
Also, good job M, with the Obama cake. Maybe we should have saved a slice in the freezer like when people get married? And if we did, we should have eaten it last night*.

*but not really, because I quit that**.
**refined sugar, white flour, frosting, things that are good, etc.


I always hear about the emails people get that are all, "enlarge your penis" or "date hot sexy singles in your area" or whatever.

It appears though, that they're really got my number. My fakesie emails are all subjected things like, "Temporary Emotional Clouds?", "Reconsider Your Previous Bad Decisions" and "Restore Balance in Your Life*".
How do they know me so well?

*the balance one is obviously especially funny. They don't even know!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Some things I've learned (or remembered) I liked lately:

1. The Office ("the Duel"). It's on Hulu.
2. Hulu.
3. Steak? I guess it's been a million years since I've had it. Do you know you can make it at home and it's good? Who knew? It takes like five minutes? Thanks, 'nets, for teaching me how.
4. Boys buying girls drinks.
5. Emailing strangers.
6. Paying off whole medical bills (I guess I forgot about one, and the creditors started calling me this week. They weren't mean, probably because I called them back to pay it off.)
7. Swing dancing lessons. Again on Monday?
8. Obamas. I already knew, but today reminded me.
9. Andy. Keeping blogging, and some time, when I'm out and ten funny things happen that I remember for real, I'm keeping posting.
10. Sports Brunch (was actually fun, and wins for longest brunch this year).

Good job everybody. I think pretty soon, I'll get to add Notorious* to that list. Also note that The Princess Diaries, and The Princess Diaries 2 did not make it to my list.

*the B.I.G. movie that Lil's so mad about, not that Tori Spelling reality show.

Monday, January 19, 2009


Sometimes*, I just want to believe in T9 real bad.

"Is raise face planet jup street stuff the game boy as robots on the street? Does that makesence?"

*after 6 hour brunches and two football games, for instance.


Dear Valentine's Day Ball "Find Your Valentine" Planning Committee,

I'm not going to the meeting tonight. Reasons (1) I'm going to dance lessons instead (2) I'm not even sure what my life schedule is like, and so I'm not sure if I'll be able to go (3) I think there's enough people with enough ideas, so keeping planning without me.

In leiu of attending, I submit the following, for your consideration:
Start advertising this jawn. It's a big weekend, you're going to have some competitors. Get a flier, get dibs. Decide on a real dress code (I think this got discussed last night, but I can't really remember, but I want to know how much clothes to wear, and in what colors).
And, I still vote that you should spend that (imaginary) $300 that you're considering for the string band on beer instead. Get a couple kegs, a couple bottles of Vlad, and a box of wine or something. You know how people roll: empty handed.
Finally (hate to throw out whole new ideas), someone should set up a photobooth, maybe a little like Hands & Knees circa 2k5, just a little corner or whatever where people can go and have their picture taken by someone. Not like Philthy going around taking people's pictures, but, well, like a photobooth. I call not it for taking the pictures, also I broke my digital camera, real bad. Also my tax return got rejected. See how many other things I have going on? See?

Also, can we have a roller skating party? Andy?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

ghost busters

Annoying: left my phone at somebody's house on the coldest coldest weekend, and had to get back there.

Great: the Italian Market. green peppers, yellow pepper, red pepper, green onions, 3 heads of romaine, and a pineapple? $4.

Nervous: balance test, another otolaryngolgist appt, meeting the new surgeon.

Surprise: getting packages with fiber optic hair pieces

Upcoming: sports brunch, Wii Fit date, trips, more Real World of course.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

quick version

A lot of people have been asking me what's going on, so here's the quick rundown.
I have an acoustic neuroma, it looks like this:
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How they missed this in my CT scans 6 months ago is really weird.
It's a (benign) brain tumor that attaches itself to auditory and equilibrium nerves, like this (gross):
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It usually discovered in people 30-60 yrs old, and usually when it's smaller. It's so big that they can't let it keeping growing, or it will push up on my brain stem, mess up all my senses and (ultimately) kill me. I'm too young/it's too big for radiation (which would stop it from growing but only temporarily). So it's coming out, hopefully sometime in February, but at the rate things are going, who knows when. It'll be a long surgery, and I'll be at the hospital for about a million years (4-7 days maybe).
I will have a weird haircut.
I will have a killer scar.
I will have terrible balance for a while.
I will be deaf on left.
There's other (possible) side effects that are a little to grim to list.

The good news is, I did my taxes and already know how I'm spending my refund (not on teeth).

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


ticketed my scooter. In front of my house.
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I can't believe they have their own reality show.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

new slogans

Okay. This week I found out I have a (benign in 2k9) tumor in my brain. I don't know a ton about it yet. Golfball sized and neuro surgery coming up to take it out. Amber, after they shave off some of my hair, maybe we could work out a haircut?
Everything is dumb.

Monday, January 12, 2009


Nothing works out for me lately.


and closer.
Here's some things that could warrant paragraphs, but lately I can't believe how nothing turns into pages, so I'll be breif.

Finally getting paid by ChaCha.
My lawyer and I are Back In Touch.
More hearing tests.
Less blood work.
Less bread and cheese (keeping).
More vitamins!
Fire drills.
Dreams of Springtime and flawless scooter rides.
Consideration of blond hair (Amber!)
A raise (indeed).
Tim Reardon/Dane real quick.
Weird parties with no girls.
Rewatching the good movies, watching bad ones once.
Sleeping lots.
Figuring Things out.
Less cards in 2k9 (just like you asked for, Andy).
News of ecomonic stimulus again (don't you read the news? no.)
Inauguration at RUBA, not at my house.
Lost soon.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

keeping celebrating

Josh Ballard's New Year's Resolution? To celebrate his birthday every day this year.
Last night we went to his birthday party.
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It was pretty fun, and a good (cold) night to stay south.

Also, Amanda, when are we going to get a recording of your xmas song?

Also, I won ten dollars on a scratch off, which goes into my "money I wasn't counting on" fund for Wii. Getting there.

Also, Andy? Come get your lobster, it's making my room drafty.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


New York City was:
Chinatown bus arbitrarily picking out a new stop
phones with low batteries
so so much sushi
video games about mugging people and beating up other gangs
my first Blokus win (and in real life!)
writing late night letters
finally seeing Wizard People Dear Readers

so...pretty much good. It used to always feel good to come home to Philly after though, and today it's kind of whatever.

Friday, January 9, 2009


Last night AC organized a field trip to KFN.
Some parts were nice. Some parts were weird*.
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New York City
maybe Canada
more teeth?

*see Flickr, see my text message inbox**.
**no, don't.


I had an MRI. The couldn't find my veins* to put the dye in my blood (gross right?). Three tries. Since U Been Gone on the headphones they gave me.
I'm on these other pills that are giving me vivid dreams, and one first nightmare. Part of it was being in a pond of aborted babies. Really. Other than that I've been sleeping so well though.
Today? First tooth. Took a couple tries and eleven shots of novacaine, but first tooth.

*They couldn't find my veins because "they're too small", just like my ear canals are too small for adult sized instruments and mouth was too small for grown up plaster-casting, and my nose was almost too small for needles. There's tons of people smaller than me? It's weird.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

EIGHT strangers

Last night? Premier of Real World: Brooklyn (season 21). It's ridiculous.
Black gay boy who is a personal trainer.
Mormon "straight as an arrow" (gay) boy from SLC.
Regular dude 1 who was secretly in the military and loves working out.
Regular dude 2.
Transgender girl from Missoula.
Non-mormon girl from SLC.
Black dancer ("Boobs") who already loves Secret Army ("Abs").
Ex-lesbian Cali straight girl in committed relationship.
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It's gonna be good.

Also have been doing things like recovering chairs,
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playing more games, and dreaming of Wii.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

(not really) Rawurary

If you lost track of things, Melmar and I are doing a "no-processed foods" Januray - to try to feel better/eat better/get better at it. Our "non-processed" ideas are pretty loose, for convenience and practicality's sakes - we're trying to mostly stick to foods that are one ingredient - or a couple foods that are one ingredient, mixed together.
It might sound like cheating*. And it might be cheating, but we're incorporating a few things like whole grain pasta (ingredients? whole grains), and right now I'm doing store bought salad dressing on some stuff (mostly cause I'm no Melissa and haven't whipped up my own yet).
Overall though? Feelin' fine in 2k9, just like the buttons say. So many more apples and bananas and squash and peppers and popcorn!
Oh, and this part really was cheating, but last night I tried a bit of M's Nutella mousse chocolate layer cake, and it was awesome.

*This kind of loose-interpretation type cheating is so far working out WAY better than that month in 2k6(!) where we decided to just eat fruits and vegetables except for weekly outings to Applebees for half price apps. That month we didn't really do so good.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

my first trolley ride

Last night we're at Pope and I get a call from my dentist/student. An appointment, this morning!
Just a consult.
Good news: 8 gold teeth (in the back, don't get too excited).
Bad news: all the other things. And 15-20k.

Monday, January 5, 2009


Usually, Holly Zerbe or someone gives me some New Year's resolutions.
Previous resolutions have included trying out high heels and...good grief. I can't even remember now.
Last year it was "mostly honest" (self imposed), and I did okay at it.

So far this is where I'm at:

December 30 at 1:25am (from Holly)
Oh, I was just realizing that in keeping with tradition, we need to try to come up with new year's resolutions for each other. How do you feel about thongs?

December 30 at 9:12am (from Susan)
I feel Very Bad about thongs. I prefer underwear that looks like it was designed for little kids. (Not in a creepy way - in a lots of coverage and bright colors way).
Not that I'm saying no to your challenge.
How do you feel about dreadlocks?

Later this got updated to "two days of no bra, 2k9" (we'll see, HZ).
I had some good ideas for her, but now can't think of them. Is it too late?
I'm also planning on getting healthy, which includes seeing a million doctors (lady doctor today!) and eating way better (see Melissa's blog for more about that), getting my bmi down to 22 (which is the point where people get the least amount of sick!), and having a real hairstyle.

If New Year's was in Summer I'd probably make it to wear sunblock all the time and not enter a tan-off with Amanda, but alas*.

Sarah also ended a recent email:
"... i love you. happy new year. i'll miss you tonight at midnight for sure! next year i'll be there for it definitely. don't make any mistakes. maybe your resolution should be to either start dating conrad or stop dating conrad in 2k9. ! [i am so funny]"

(she is so funny).

Mostly, if things continue the way they have in 2k9 so far, I'm going to watch tons of Mad Men and eat a lot of air popped popcorn. Oh, and get tons of prescriptions, like Marilyn!

Things I write are so hard to read. Maybe a writing class? A job I can't get enough of? More school?

*hanging prepositions?! must be the vampire novels.

ten nine eight


holiday at the Riverview blogs lately, cause I've been too busy cleaning our floor over and over again, trying to sweep up confetti from the street and watching Mad Men (which is my favorite, like Nip Tuck and Greek before it).

I saw some movies. First Brad in Benjamin Button, which was about an hour too long, but well done. It's about this guy who is born 80 years old, then ages backward. When he's eleven (in his 70's or whatever) he falls in love with a real life eleven year old, and they off-and-on their whole life, until she's with him at the end, when he's a baby and she's a old lady. The part in the middle where they match up in age is really nice and they live in an apartment with a mattress on the floor in the living room and are in love and watch the Beatles on Ed Sullivan.
Some things that weren't awesome, but didn't ruin it:
the "Notebook device": the story is presented during hurricane Katrina, through the reading of Ben's memoirs. Flashbacks and all that. It's a fine gimmick, but I think we've seen it enough times.
Inconsistency: Ben is born tiny (and old looking) and dies tiny (and young looking). If it was an actual reversal of time, you either have to pick that he's somehow born old and big (gross) and gets littler and littler, or is born little and stays big, just more baby like. It's fine though, NBD.

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The makeup and everything was spot on though, and I don't like saying this, but it was thought provoking. And Brad Pitt was so handsome in some parts, and rode a lot of motorcycles.

No one got shot.

Last night, we went to see Keanu in The Day the Earth Stood Still. Beautiful scientist, baby Will Smith, alien Keanu, and so much environmental scope. Lines: "We can change! WE CAN CHANGE WE CAN CHANGE!" In case you missed the first one (or kind of forgot it/mixed it up with War of the Worlds like I did) it's about aliens who come to save planet Earth from us, because we're so bad at it. Made me want to go cut up some 6 pack rings and quit using styrofoam.
Overall, not awesome, but some things that were cool:
Keanu's alien skin falling off in giant globs as he takes on his human body
tiny multiplying bugs that eat through everything, including people and diamonds
Gort looking exactly the same as he did in the 1950's version
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Go to the movies more.

Friday, January 2, 2009

mopping ever since

New Year's Eve was fun.
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New Year's Day was fun.
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One hundred people came over, and then we went and saw mummers, respectively.

Good pictures on Flickr, more pictures on facebook.

And now, three more days of weekend? Yikes. Oh, and the new neighbors have a Mastiff puppy who is the best ever and already weighs sixty pounds or something. I'm really excited about it.